A Shoulder To Cry On
by SylvaDragon
Summary: When Minerva McGonagall is heartbroken over Dougal McGregor, instinct leads her to Albus Dumbledore's door. My version of Minerva seeking Albus' advice and comfort after breaking up with her muggle boyfriend. Probably the closest thing to canon I'll ever write, but I still changed some things. ADMM


A Shoulder To Cry On

_I imagine this as taking place when Minerva is in her early twenties, and has recently returned to Hogwarts to teach, even though that doesn't completely fit with canon._

As Minerva stood at the foot of the spiral stairs she wondered what had led her here, it was well after midnight, and though Albus was a night owl, he was bound to be asleep. She should leave now, rather than bother him with her troubles. Just as she turned away there was a chink of light in the darkness, as his door swung open, and Albus stood there gazing down at her, his form silhouetted against the warm welcoming glow emanating from his chambers. "Hello Minerva," A soft voice said, "You're up late my dear ... would you like some hot chocolate?"

And that was how she found herself seated next to Albus, on a revoltingly garish sofa, trying her best to avoid his gaze. As he sipped from a giant pink mug, and eyed her from under his snow white eyebrows, bright eyes flitting across her in concern. "Does something trouble you, my dear?" He asked at last.

Minerva tried to hold back the surge of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. It's nothing Albus," She forced herself to say.

Albus sighed as he took in the tightness of her lips, the dark shadows under her eyes, that not even a skillfully cast glamour charm could hide from his discerning gaze. "Is it nothing that has caused you not to sleep well these last weeks?" He queried gently, "Something troubles you Minerva, and that troubles me ..." His hand reached out and rested lightly on hers. "I am your friend my dear, one you can rely on, tell me what troubles you so Minerva."

She could feel the tears pressing against her eyes, trying to force their way out. Minerva blinked frantically, desperate to keep them within, where they belonged. Despite her best efforts a few treacherous drops escaped her eyes, wending their way slowly down her face. She tried to turn her head away, even though she knew Albus had noted the tears slow descent. The light feather soft brush of his finger across her damp cheek stopped her.

His red velvet shoulder turned invitingly towards her, as sapphire eyes perused her with a hint of sorrow. "Minerva ..." His voice flowed across her so softly, like a gentle summer breeze. "Minerva my dear, let yourself go for once, everyone needs a good cry now and again, even you ..."

Her stiffness dissolved instantly, unable to hold her emotions in any more, as she sank into the arms Albus held open for her. Dark head coming to rest against the soft velvet of his shoulder, which was soon damp with her tears.

"My dear, I'm the shoulder you can cry on, and that shoulder will always be here for you whenever you need it," Albus murmured gently.

The soft comforting hum of his words couldn't stop her from letting the tears flow even faster. His arm tightened round her waist, drawing her closer against him, as his lips fell to rest lightly against her hair. Minerva could feel his breath passing lightly through her hair, there was something so soothing in it, and almost against her wishes she relaxed against him, stopped fighting and let herself truly weep for the first time in many months.

Minerva could feel the movement of his hand, rubbing slow soothing circles across her back, as her tears continued to fall. It was a relief to finally let go, and she felt the tension she had held within for so long ease. Albus seemed aware of the easing, as he whispered comforting nonsence, his lips moving lightly against her hair. The deep low rumble of his voice reverberating in her ear, like balm to her wounded soul.

At last her tears ceased to flow, she felt drained of all emotion, leaving only embarrassment, guilt at having bothered him. "I'm sorry," She muttered into the velvet folds of his shoulder.

Minerva felt Albus shift against her, easing her slightly away from him so he could look into her red rimmed eyes. She dropped her head, suddenly shy. A long finger beneath her chin lifted her gaze gently to meet his. "Don't be sorry my dear, never be sorry for bringing your troubles to me. I would be far sorrier if you had continued to keep things to yourself," Albus said softly, "You needed this my dear, it is not wrong to reach out to a friend when you need to."

Minerva could see the sincerity shining in his eyes, the warmth and caring in his face radiating out from him to her, bathing her in light and comfort. Albus seemed to sense that she was ready to talk. "Tell me what troubles you so, my dear ... I am here, ready to listen and help."

Slowly, hesitantly, Minerva began to tell him of Dougal McGregor, the young muggle she had fallen in love with, how he had proposed, and after much thought she had rejected him. "I couldn't help but love him Albus, he was so handsome, so clever. I never had a chance to stop myself from loving him, even before I knew it, I was in love with him..." Minerva's voice trembled, as she wrung her hands together in distress. Then she began to speak again, telling Albus much of her family life, some of which he had already guessed.

Albus sat silently, hands clasped loosely together, as Minerva told him everything. Somehow his silence, the sheer calmness that emanated from him, encouraged her to divulge far more than she normally would have. It was a relief to tell someone at last, to let out all the secret pain, and doubt that she normally made such efforts to hide.

So, she told him of all that her mother had given up for love of her father - of how they had had to hide all signs of magic from him, how she had helped her mother to cover up her brothers accidental magic when they were young. Then she spoke of how she had met Dougal, of that brief summer they had spent together. As Minerva talked she discovered that it helped to tell someone all these long held secrets about her past, and what her early life had been like.

"She surrendered all her ambitions to be with my father, she gave up everything, Albus. Mother is so clever, so skilled in magic, and she lets it all go to waste for love, I want more than that. I don't want to be like her, always forced to hide my true nature, I want more."

Albus could hear the dreams, and longings, vibrating powerfully in her voice as Minerva spoke. Her ambition was clear to see, and it didn't surprise him, for with her talent she should have ambition.

"I loved Dougal so much Albus, I still do ... I think I always will ... but I couldn't give up my dreams for him, I couldn't live a lie for him." Minerva blinked tears from her eyes, then in a voice so quiet that Albus had to lean forwards to hear her, she whispered. "Was I wrong Albus?"

There was a brief silence, as sapphire eyes flitted across Minerva's bowed head, a hidden sigh from Albus, and then he answered her. "If someone loves you truly Minerva, then they will love you as you truly are. Do you think your young man could have done that?" Albus sighed once more as she remained silent, there was something shrouded in his face, as he sat with head slightly turned away from her. "When love is true, deep and lasting, love only has one wish - and that is for the happiness of the one he, or she, loves." The words hung in the air as Albus finished speaking.

There was a strange note in Albus' voice, which aroused a brief flicker of curiosity in Minerva. It sounded as though he spoke from experience. Had he ever loved? She wondered fleetingly, then her own troubles demanded her attention once more. It didn't take much thought to realise the truth, and wisdom in his words. And though it broke her heart, she knew her choice had been right. At last she knew that, and despite the pain it helped. "I could never have been happy living a pretence, a lie, and he could never have been happy if I didn't," She muttered.

There was something calming about Albus' presence, so close beside her that she could hear the soft hum of his breathing, feel the warmth flowing out from him across the gap between them. She felt safe here, just as she always did with him. Minerva felt the soft flutter of his hand descending on her's, resting lightly there, so warm, strong and eternal.

"Then let him go ..." Albus said softly, "If you are certain of your decision, let him go."

Minerva didn't know whether it was his touch, or his words, but she felt as though she had new strength. "I am certain," She said, and though the words evoked sorrow in her, there was a kind of acceptance too.

Albus seemed to know how she felt, as with a half smile he produced a vibrant purple hankie, and with an theatrical flourish presented it to Minerva. Slightly embarrassed once more she dabbed at her cheeks, her eyes drifting to the floor, anything but gaze into his all seeing so bright eyes. Even with her face averted, she sensed the sudden sorrow in him.

"Minerva," Albus said gently, "We all have feelings, we all cry sometimes. Come drink your hot chocolate my dear ... I always find that there is nothing like hot chocolate after a good cry." A swift movement of his hand, a few half heard words, and the half drunk mug of hot chocolate was warm once more, cocoa scented steam rising off it tantalisingly.

As Minerva sipped the smooth creamy liquid, she realised how dry her throat was from talking. Glancing up she saw that Albus was smiling understandingly at her, and she was moved to wonder when, and why he had cried. The thought of him crying pained her, and she felt a wave of tenderness for him. At once Albus' gaze softened, as his hand drifted lightly downwards to rest briefly on hers. Drawing close he whispered, "Minerva, do not look so worried, I quite enjoy a good cry now and again." The corners of his mouth quirked into the beginnings of a merry beam. "After all it is a very good excuse to partake of an extra helping or three of hot chocolate."

The brightness of Albus' smile was irrisistable, and Minerva graced him with a small half smile, which delighted him so much that his eyes sparkled joyously, and she was reminded of sudden sunshine after rain. The minutes ticked by slowly, the silence comfortable and familliar, as she sipped her hot chocolate, feeling his warmth close beside her.

As the warm drink, and exhaustion took effect, Minerva could feel tiredness creeping over her. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep. She set down her cup and half rose to her feet. "I should go ..."

"Let me walk you to your chambers, my dear," Albus offered, as his eyes flitted anxiously across her, noting the tiredness in her posture.

"I will be fine Albus, you need your rest too," Minerva insisted. When his face tightened in worry, she strove to reassure him, "Really Albus, I am fine, I can find my way to my chambers perfectly well." She rose fully to her feet, and resting her hand on his still damp shoulder briefly, murmured, "Thank you Albus."

"Minerva I am always here for you when you need me. No more hovering outside my door worrying about bothering me, or waking me up. After all I can easily have a nice nap during the day instead of pretending to work." Sapphire eyes twinkled brightly at her, like stars in the night sky, as his mouth broke into a half smile. A hint of concern still flickered in the depths of his eyes, though. "Promise me Minerva... I would worry far more if I thought you would suffer alone, instead of bringing your troubles to me." Again there was that strange note in his voice, an intensity to his words.

When Minerva had left, Albus sank wearily into the soft cushions of the sofa, running a hand tiredly across still shadowed blue eyes. With a soft flurry of feathers Fawkes alighted on his shoulder, Albus' long fingers stroked the phoenix's scarlet head absently. "Ah Fawkes, if only I could capture her heart to the same extent ..." He murmured, "But I fear I am too late..."

A soft head nuzzled against Albus' hand, as Fawkes opened his beak and let a sudden sweet note drift in the air, it's tone vibrating through the room. The sound seemed to lift Albus' spirits a little, as his eyes regained something of their normal sparkle. "But there is always hope, is there not ..." He pondered, as a far away light shone in his eyes.

_Author's Notes_

_This was inspired by the song Chiquitita from MamaMia, a film which always inspires ADMM dreams in me. There's a couple of lines in the song, "I'm a shoulder you can cry on, Your best friend, The one you must rely on." And those two lines inspired this. :) I may do more ADMM oneshots based on other lyrics from MamaMia, if my muse lets me. ;)_

_This is probably the closest to canon I'll ever write, even though I didn't much like Minerva's back story on Pottermore, after all it had her marrying that Elphias bloke instead of Albus, pft. :D And I know Minerva actually met Dougal when she was 18, but that didn't really fit for this story, so I imagine her meeting him in her early 20s, short before starting to teach at Hogwarts. _

_I also imagine Albus and Minerva getting together as a couple sometime in the future, after all how could you not love Albus? ;) _

_Feedback, reviews, will make me happy. :) So, please tell me how this was._


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